How music saved her life

Music saved my life.

That’s a weighted sentence, but in all honesty, it’s true. I never really believed people who said that up until it happened to me.

I’ll save you the sob story, but I was depressed for the majority of last year. I guess you could say I’m still depressed, though I’m coping with it better now, thanks to the support of my family and friends. Let me say this right now – if you think you’re in the same position I am – talk to someone. I know how difficult it is, but the amount of relief and help you’ll get from telling someone is indescribably better than any alternative and bottling it up inside.

At the peak of my downfall, I discovered Mod Sun, a performer who calls his music “hippy hop.” I can’t thank my iTunes enough for recommending his music. I downloaded all of his albums that were available that day; however I didn’t give it too much thought until about a week later when I thought I was sinking again.

Bless my iPod’s shuffle, because one of his songs, “Need That,” came up. One line stood out more than the rest – “You’re alive. What more could you ask for?”

I don’t think I’ll ever be able to fully explain the feeling that I got after I heard that. Every ounce of bad ideas and thoughts of self-harm washed away, and with it a tide of positivity and epiphany came through. I have never felt anything like that in my entire life.

About a month or two later, Mod Sun announced that he was going on tour with a couple of my favorite bands, and it was that day that I sat down and wrote a letter to him explaining what my situation was and how he’s been the driving force in my quest to happiness. I went through a tumultuous three months of debating whether or not I would actually give him my letter, but I did. My best friend and I teamed up and drove four hours down to Norfolk, where I not only got to hear him perform “Need That” live, but I also got the chance to talk to him about everything.

He read my letter, and listened to me cry for about 10 minutes. He also told me that life is like a boat. We’re all floating down the river of life; however, for some people the waters can be rockier than for others. You know what the back of your boat looks like, you’ve trekked those paths, so don’t look back, focus on what’s ahead, and always stay positive. I carry those words with me everywhere and every day I wake up.

He also told me that I was going to hear about myself and my story in his songs. I didn’t believe it. Since when did a kid like me ever get a chance for her idol to write songs about her? I was proven wrong.

On his latest mix tape, there’s a song called “Lightning in a Bottle,” and sure as heck, I inspired it. I can’t even begin to tell you how touched I was and how fascinating it is to me that someone who has done so much for me could have been inspired by me, a regular kid from Northern Virginia dealing with some problems in her life.

It’s funny, the way life works. Whenever I’m upset, “Need That” comes on shuffle, every time, without fail. I guess that’s why I call Mod Sun my guardian angel. He’s the sweetest artist I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting, regardless of whether or not he’s my idol. He’s grateful for every single one of his listeners, and the best part is that every one of his mix tapes, except for one, is available for free.

I’m not trying to force anyone to listen to his music, but it’s worth a shot. His message is simple – stay positive and work toward your dreams. If that doesn’t inspire you, I’m not sure if anything will.

depression, music, song Issue 2, Print, Views